Two Steps towards Transformation
Published on: January 04, 2019
Personal and professional life coach Jasmin Braun provides practical tips on how to start the process of a personal transformation.
By Jasmin Braun
Personal transformation is letting go of what’s holding you back and creating what you want to see in your life instead.
As we have just started a new year, we often think about what we want to achieve, be that New Year resolutions, goals we have set for ourselves or dreams we want to see come true. But more often than not we reflect back twelve months later and realize that much of what we set out to do hasn’t come true.
Have you ever asked yourself, why? What’s holding us back from achieving our goals and dreams? What are we missing in the puzzle of what will make our lives meaningful and fulfilled?
… you have the ability to achieve so much more than you thought you could.
Especially as moms, we spend a lot of time making plans and having hopes and dreams for our children and families. As we do that, we often get stuck on our own journey of development and personal growth. We settle into our comfort zone, a familiar and safe place.
When we are in our comfort zone, transformation can sound like a big deal, and it is. But transformation doesn’t mean that you won’t be who you are anymore. It simply means you will be a better, more empowered person. More confident, stronger and better able to be in charge of your own life experience and what you want your life to be about.
So imagine that by mid-2019 you have already achieved what you want. You feel empowered, energized and realize you have the ability to achieve so much more than you thought you could. You’ve transformed and are empowered! Read on if that sounds like something you’d like to experience yourself.
Achieving this kind of transformation might be easier than you think and the beginning of personal transformation is surprisingly simple. It all starts with taking an honest look at where you are now.
Once you know your starting point, it’s a combination of two things: letting go of what’s holding you back and creating what you want to see in your life instead.
Step one: What to let go of
What typically holds us back from achieving our goals and living our dreams are the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves. These can be deep-rooted and work on a subconscious level so we are usually not aware of them.
We all have certain beliefs about ourselves. A belief is simply the acceptance that something is true and exists. These beliefs can either be empowering or limiting and have a big influence on our lives.
When our beliefs are limiting they can significantly impact our confidence, create self-doubt and stifle personal growth.
So the first step is to gain awareness of what it is that is holding you back. This will involve some soul searching and being really honest with yourself. Start by grabbing a piece of paper and asking yourself this question:
What do I believe to be true about myself?
Write down whatever comes to mind. These are likely to be statements like “I am…,” “I am not…,” “I can…,” “I cannot…” or absolutes like “I never…” and “I always….”
Examples might be, “I’m a good listener,” “I always put others before me,” “I just don’t have the time to focus on what I want,” “I’m just not organized and motivated enough,” “I’m never going to make a lot of money,” “Whatever I do, it’s never enough,” or “I’m not smart/pretty/confident enough.”
Once you have written down a few, sit with them for a moment and see which ones feel the truest to you right now. Pick those two limiting beliefs and ask yourself the following:
- What if this limiting belief is actually not true?
- What would it feel like if I knew this limiting belief was false?
- What would the opposite be?
Take a few minutes to think about and write down your thoughts.
Having the awareness of what it is that’s holding you back and starting to challenge this limitation is a big first step. Now it is up to you to decide whether to stick with this limiting belief or whether to rewrite it into something that serves and empowers you.
Remember, you create your reality, your brain just processes what you feed it.
What would it be like if you believed the opposite to be true about yourself? What if you believed you were good/smart/pretty/motivated/determined enough?
Play through the scenario of this re-programmed belief that is now an empowering belief and think about what difference it will make to you as a person:
- What possibilities open up with this new empowering belief?
- What actions am I taking as a result of this empowering belief?
- What results am I able to achieve now that I couldn’t before?
For any shift like this to stick, our brain needs a lot of repetition. Find a way in which you can keep this new empowering belief about yourself present. This could be a sticker on your mirror, a reminder on your phone or repeating it to yourself 20 times every night before you fall asleep. Your brain will take it in. Remember, you create your reality, your brain just processes what you feed it.
If you keep this shift in perspective and belief present and repeat it to yourself over and over again, it becomes your new reality. Your deep-rooted belief will change and allow for more positive thoughts, actions and results.
Step two: What to create
When it comes to creating the positive, you might already have some goals and dreams in mind that you want to work on. Or maybe you are starting with a clean sheet of paper when it comes to finding out what it is you want to create in your life. Wherever you are on this path, take a moment to run your goals and dreams through a little check to make sure they are truly what YOU want, not what you think you should want, what others want, or maybe what you wanted five years ago.
Ask yourself these questions about your goals and dreams:
- Will this make me happy?
- Will I feel proud having achieved it?
- Does this give me meaning and a sense of fulfillment?
- Is this in line with what I want my life to be about?
If you know that these goals and dreams will give you meaning and purpose, will make you happy and are in line with who you truly are as a person, you have found something worth fighting for.
Use the awareness and motivation for your goal to commit to something meaningful right away. A wonderful way to do this, which also allows you to keep up the momentum, is by asking yourself at the beginning of every day:
What can I do today to create this change?
This way you start each day with intent. The answers you will get to this question will vary greatly depending on the day. Some days you can tick off a big item on your “to do” list, on others, it might just be keeping it present and renewing your commitment to pursuing this positive change.
A woman who knows where she wants to go and believes in her own abilities and power can achieve things she never dared to dream of before.
But no matter how big or small, you will be able to do something every single day that brings you closer to living this new reality. That is a wonderful and empowering feeling in itself and will create positive changes in your life.
They say change is never easy. But change that is fuelled by empowering beliefs, daily action and driven by a deep sense of direction and purpose is easier than you think.
In my work, I support women on their journey through various difficulties and identity crises. What I have seen time and time again is that a woman who knows where she wants to go and believes in her own abilities and power can achieve things she never dared to dream of before.
In all these cases, women didn’t do this all on their own. They shared with their friends, supported each other, became part of communities that nourish and empower them or have worked with professionals who can support them on their journey.
No matter what your journey will look like, I want you to know that there is a journey out there waiting for you, and it’s a journey of wonderful transformation, happiness and empowerment. You deserve to be on that journey!
Photos by Kazuend and Norwood Themes on Unsplash
About the Author
Jasmin is the founder of Jasmin Braun Coaching (jasmin-braun.com) and is a certified coach and EFT practitioner (Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as ‘tapping’). Jasmin helps women free themselves from limiting beliefs to empower them to reach their full potential and happiness in life. She works with female entrepreneurs, women in business, working moms and mothers returning back to work to help them on their journey to being their best, true selves. Jasmin conducts one-on-one EFT coaching, group workshops and programs for corporates, aiming to empower women and inspire positive change, one woman at a time, one step at a time.
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