Friendship: The Pathway to Growth

Published on: July 23, 2019

Everyone wants to have a friend they can talk to, spend time with and vent to when things go wrong but we get our share of good and not so great friends. Angeli helps to identify the kind of friends you have around you and the kind of friend you want to be to others.

By Angeli Jagota

I’d like to start by sharing some of the best advice on friendship from the people who’ve made an impact on this earth.

“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.” – Zig Ziglar

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

Friends are an important part of our lives. Human interaction, friendship, and closeness can probably be considered the fourth basic need after water, food, and shelter. When you experience a big or even a small change in your life like getting a new job, getting engaged, or even buying a new dress, house or car, you get excited to tell your friends about it. When you want some relief from sadness, grief or frustration, you immediately turn to your closest friends. 

Our friends are our mirrors; they influence us and motivate us to do better in our lives. Some come in our lives for a season and some for a lifetime.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes. There are the Facebook-only friends, who you hide from when you see them down the street. There are the users, who only pop up when they need something or want to vent. And then there are the life-long friends, who you see once in a blue moon but feel like no time has passed when you finally do catch up.

I came across motivational speaker Les Brown’s talk on the four types of friends during one of my morning walks in 2016. This walked turned extraordinary because it solved my puzzle of going back and forth with those ‘friends’ whom I had surrounded myself with.

So, here I am going to share with you my personal perspective on the types of friends that we need. 

  1. Social friends: They are closer than acquaintances. You know their name and a little about their family, and you usually have a few things in common. A social friend may be one you meet at social occasions or one who may accompany you to social gatherings. They are the ones you eat out with, like hangout buddies. You are together to have a good time.
  2. Intellectual friends: Intelligence can be achieved, depending on your surroundings and through the people you meet every day — your family, friends, neighbors, classmates, colleagues, and even random people in different gatherings. If you have been around people with high intellect, they tend to influence the way you think as well. Intellectual friends boost our knowledge and inspire us to reach for the best.
  3. Inspirational friends: An inspirational friend encourages us to be more successful in our life. They can reason our problems with intuitive thinking and logic. They can help us through problems.They assist in building up our confidence. Looking at their achievements and success, we aspire to become like them. Inspirational friends also create a healthy competitive environment, which instills in us the desire to be successful and prosperous. You must first understand which type of inspiration you are looking for so that you start meeting those individuals with the same interest you are looking for.
  4. Spiritual friends: Spiritual friends move us past small talk and surface answers and into soul nourishment. I call my spiritual friends ‘godly girlfriends’. They not only laugh with us in the sunshine but stand with us in the rain. They are solid godly counsels. True soul friends can push pause after every conversation and pick right back up the next time they’re together. The conversations are refreshing and time spent together is a filling of the soul. Such friendships will go deepest when friends share similar beliefs and want similar things out of life. But true spiritual friendship won’t just happen. First, we have to BE the kind of friend we want to have.

 

Photo courtesy of Melissa Askew on Unsplash. 

 

About the Author

Angeli Jagota is a Yoga Alliance–registered international teacher trainer and author of the widely acclaimed, bestselling book on spiritual sexuality, The Intimacy Protocol. She is a versatile yoga professional, a renowned holistic innovator, life trainer, wellness counselor, spiritual philosopher, and a certified kids yoga specialist.


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