Protecting Your Loved Ones Through Deeper Self Connection

Published on: May 04, 2020

Self Connection The last few months have not been easy and you may have felt a strain on your relationships. There is an opportunity here to focus on connecting with and understanding yourself better in order to protect those you love.   By Claudia Gomes, Photo by Raphael Brasileiro from Pexels   Recently, the government asked everyone to stay home to take care of ourselves, improve hygiene, and minimize personal contact. These actions were to stop the spread of COVID-19 and to prevent the health system from collapsing. You had to change many things in your daily life in order to protect your loved ones. My main message here is not about physical protection, as you already did that as per the government’s request.  I want to talk about protecting your loved ones from yourself and your own emotions. Relationships can be hard in times of extreme situations such as not being allowed to leave home. Some of us are not used to it and it can be quite overwhelming. People can struggle to accept things the way they are. Rebelling, demanding, and creating difficult moments for everyone involved. It’s necessary to control your emotions, and we’re not always raised or trained in ways that help us achieve that. Family, friends, partners, and kids are a part of your life and each is different. We all have different perspectives, desires and needs. Do you listen to them? Do you understand their needs well? Relationships are made of intimacy and vulnerability. Trusting and respecting. Sharing and giving. You have the opportunity to open and create channels to make these connections better. The respected researcher Brené Brown talks about connection:
“The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
Do you want to protect your loved ones? Then you need to connect with them. We often think that to protect someone it means we need to protect them from “everything.” You want them to be safe and happy. Yes, it’s amazing, but that’s not reality.  If you try to protect people from everything you are not allowing them to live their lives, and to grow and be the person they are here to be. Wisdom is a great tool to help you calm yourself in unsettling times.  You want them to be safe and sound. So trust that your lessons are valid, that you are just guiding them to face problems. Trust that they will be able to make it on their own. Please remember not to give all the answers; people tend to learn more when they overcome obstacles by themselves.  It’s natural to want your family to be happy and have a wonderful life. Keep in mind that happiness is not the only feeling they could have. They have to experience feeling sad, lonely, jealous, raged, lost, and many others. They are responsible for their own feelings and that is part of being human.  Whether life will be wonderful or not, depends on how a person manages circumstances and how they decide to react. The power is in their hands. Protect your loved ones from your fears, disbeliefs, lack of awareness, impositions, or insecurities. Protect your loved ones from a version of yourself that is not helpful for them.  Stop trying to control their world and start controlling YOUR world.  Be present. Be aware. Be patient.  Be the person that you think your love ones deserve to have by their side. Listen and speak. Connect on a deeper level.  Transform your relationship. Believe in yourself and be an example to show that change is possible. Create in them the ability to change.  Generate in your loved ones a growth mindset, the confidence that helps them be empowered to face anything that comes their way.  Don’t be afraid or ashamed if you cannot do it or if you can’t figure out how to start.  I couldn’t. I had to ask for professional help. It was difficult to do on my own. It was good to have a mirror that talked back and helped me to see myself from different perspectives. Don’t give up on yourself.  You will find the strength necessary to create a butterfly effect of kindness, compassion, and love around you. Your relationships depend on that to become healthier. Work on yourself first so that you can protect others. Keep connecting with others.

About the Author

Claudia is an accredited ICF PCC Coach, leadership trainer, and business development manager. She helps individuals develop emotional intelligence and establish healthy relationships at a personal and professional level. Claudia has more than 20 years of experience in sales and management in the corporate sector in Brazil, Europe, and Southeast Asia. Her services are in Portuguese, Spanish, and English. Connect at contact@claudiagomes.coach or visit www.claudiagomes.coach.
The views expressed in the articles in this magazine are not necessarily those of BAMBI committee members and we assume no responsibility for them or their effects. BAMBI News welcomes volunteer contributors to our magazine. Please contact editor@bambiweb.org.

 

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