The Emotional Impact of Great Teachers
By Anatta (Anna) Zarchi
When I was 12, my parents hit me with a big surprise: I was going from an international school to a Thai one. This sent me into complete shock—my reading and writing in Thai were very weak and definitely not at a Thai-school level. I braced myself—they were going to make me feel bad about it for sure. My previous approach to things I wasn’t good at was this: minimal effort; keep my head low; avoid.
I remember the terror of handing in my first Thai writing assignment, sure I was about to get wrecked, but my new teacher never said a word—just handed it back with all her corrections. Weeks turned into months, and she continued to quietly correct my work without ever saying anything to make me feel less able than my classmates, letting me learn independently from my previous mistakes. She praised me as my Thai got better, but did so in a casual and appreciative manner.
As the weeks and months passed, I grew more confident in my writing even while making mistakes. Over the years, this slowly translated into a general newfound ability to bounce back and keep going, even at things I struggled with. There are many teachers who contributed to this, and many who set me back, but I will always credit her as being the one who laid down the foundations of my resilience through her gentle and non-judgmental approach.
We tend to think of school purely in terms of academics, but teachers do more than that—they also have the ability to impact children in ways that will change them beyond solving for 𝑥 or remembering what happened 500 years ago, and this includes building resilience and emotional intelligence.
Building resilience
When it comes to building resilience, NCS counselor Pam, previously a school counselor and teacher, shares that being an enjoyable teacher goes a long way. “Kids pick up on that passion and joy and they get inspired from it,” she explains. “This leads them to finding their inner purpose, which then leads to resilience.” Counseling intern Jonathan, a passionate educator of psychology at a university level, thinks that, “In class, if teachers are open and encouraging, this communicates that authority figures can have compassion within a place where there are simultaneously expectations. Out of class, if teachers are approachable and willing to communicate with students, this can instill trust and communicate attention to the whole person.”
He also shares that in his experience, encouraging objective thinking can help foster resilience. He says, “I have challenged students to 'leave right/wrong or good/bad at the door' and think in terms of risk and reward, or risk of doing vs risk of not doing an action.” This encourages flexible thinking based on facts rather than judgment. Looking at things from a more objective viewpoint helps us to take things less personally, which can make them less overwhelming, thus giving us the strength to keep going.
“Try to gain a deep understanding of each child and what works best for them as an individual without judgment and with comparison,” Pam adds. “This helps the child to feel truly seen and valued in a way that enables them to develop life skills that come from a true sense of self-worth.” Think about the story I shared—my teacher knew from my parents that I didn’t react well to harsh criticism, and instead tried a gentle approach which kickstarted my ability to keep trying, so that I can now face harsh criticism without giving up. The same approach wouldn’t necessarily work for everyone, so it’s important to have an individual approach for each student.
Building emotional intelligence (EI)
When it comes to building EI, counselor Dave explains that a good first step is to help kids label, recognize, and accept their emotions. Help them understand what it is they’re feeling and that it is OK to feel this way; this makes it easier for them to get through the challenge they are facing. Our counselors shared a few different techniques for this:
Child-friendly emotion wheel: This can help children add more nuance to their emotional vocabulary beyond feelings that they are already familiar with such as sad, mad, happy, angry, and so on.
Develop empathy: Think of activities like dramas, plays, or play-acting. Stepping into someone else’s shoes can help children see things beyond their own perspective.
Creative activities: Using your hands for things like drawing or coloring can help with emotional expression and finding different expressive outlets.
Work together: This helps them learn how to navigate balancing the thoughts, emotions, and approaches of different people and making it work.
Emotional expression: Adults often try to shut children’s emotions down, but allowing them to express their emotions is part of learning to process and navigate them.
Encourage interaction and open discussion: For example, present them with different scenarios and ask them to argue from both sides.
Encourage understanding amid conflict: When conflict occurs, it is useful to help children understand the other person’s experience; this builds empathy and helps them learn how they can better navigate a similar situation in the future.
Support reflection: Help children reflect back on past challenges involving their emotions so that they can identify what they were feeling and how it affected them.
Be explicit: Talk simply and clearly about emotions to help make the emotional process clearer and easier for kids to understand.
Finally, it’s important to remember that EI and resilience often go hand in hand—knowing how to cope emotionally supports resilience and can create the strength needed to bounce back.
The Age Factor
Though it is always great to foster these skills from a young age, there is no official time limit on learning them. Each person’s circumstances, character, or the challenges they face at each stage of life can influence the development of these skills. Though some resist these skills at a younger age, they may become more open to them later on. As counseling intern Emma says, “It is very important to keep planting the seeds of EI as you go along and not only in early childhood.”
Parents often worry as their children reach adolescence: Are they resilient enough? Can they face this? Though these concerns are understandable, it is good to be reminded that this is simply what a lot of teenagers are like, and doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have those life skills. Jonathan shares, “In my own experience, I was more impactful with university students [than high schoolers], likely because I felt comfortable speaking to their level of maturity and direction. I also found university students and emerging adults to have a keener sense of independence and willingness to question rules and laws, which I see as part of the development of EI.” So even if you are concerned about your child’s resilience and EI throughout adolescence, this doesn’t mean it’s not something they can’t learn later on, or that they don’t already possess those skills—they could just be hiding behind the usual teenager traits, waiting to show up later.
A Positive Impact
I can confidently say that I’ve had many teachers who have left both a positive and negative impact on me that I still think about years later. Though I have learned important things from both, I’m always grateful for the teachers that helped turn things around and made the bad experiences a learning moment instead of a permanent wound. Those teachers made a huge difference in how resilient I am today and how I interact with the world. A teacher does more than just teach facts—and it is important for both parents and teachers to keep this in mind as they guide children through their education.
About the Author
Anna works for New Counseling Service (NCS), an internationally recognized mental health center in Bangkok with a diverse team of licensed counselors. NCS has provided counseling services in Thailand and surrounding regions for over 20 years, with therapists specializing in a wide variety of issues such as anxiety, depression, work stress, relationships, and more.