How to Help Your Kids Prepare for a Move to a New Country

Children need time and special attention to prepare for, adjust and settle into their new environment after a move. Try these tips to make the transition more seamless and less stressful.By Saba Malik For some, moving is a challenge even if it is within the same town or city. An entirely different country with an unfamiliar culture and people? Now that’s what I consider a real challenge. My family and I currently do not have a permanent address. Luckily our children are young enough for them to tag along with my husband as he takes on new projects. Nonetheless, I have come up with a few ways to help transition my children to each new place.

Acknowledge their feelings

All kids want their feelings known and understood. Whether they are toddlers or teenagers, if they are angry or sad they may not tell you explicitly but they sure will show you. It is important for children to be able to communicate their feelings before, during and after the move. For younger children, storybooks can help find words to identify their emotions and find positive ways to express themselves. A great book about moving is 'Alexander, Who’s Not (Do you hear me? I mean it!) Going to Move' by Judith Viorst. Read it together and use it as a way to connect with what is going on in your child’s head.

By keeping them involved, it can make them feel as if they were part of the decision-making process and, hopefully, be less averse to the move.

For older children, I recommend keeping the discussions open and honest. Even though you already know everything they are leaving behind, ask them about it. Sometimes they just need to vent. Share your own fears and worries so they know they are not the only ones. Change is hard for everyone. Discuss with them why it is necessary to move or what new opportunities there are for all of you as a family. Through these discussions, you can give them the tools to learn how to deal with changes and ways to prepare oneself.

Be proactive

As soon as I knew where we were living in Bangkok, I looked up everything for both my kids in our new area. I searched for and joined every mommy group I could find online to learn more. My husband connected me with his co-worker’s wife who had a son close to our children’s age. It made the transition that much easier for all of us. It may be a little much to throw them into everything right away, but allow your older kids to choose activities that interest them. Show them what they have to look forward to. After the move, slowly get them involved. Lining up their playgroups and extracurriculars ahead of time will feel far less overwhelming than waiting until you get there.

Get your kids involved

Children, regardless of their age, like to feel that they have been given options and choices. Usually, when parents tell their children they are moving, the kids feel they have no say in the matter. By keeping them involved, it can make them feel as if they were part of the decision-making process and, hopefully, be less averse to the move.

Try to make time to give a few extra hugs and kisses.

For young kids, it can be as simple as giving them choices for activities and picking out new furniture. If you have a number of home listings in mind, ask your older children for their opinion and input. If there are options to choose a school, visit the schools together and incorporate their feedback. This can also give them more to look forward to and get excited about.

Be consistent

One of the most important parenting tips is consistency, and it’s one I follow to the tee the moment we arrive at our new destination. Settling into a routine can take some time after a move. Yet, it is necessary to establish one that is as close, if not the same, as the schedule you had before. So even though your surroundings may be different, your young one’s expectations for dinnertime, wake-up time, playtime, etc. remain familiar. Older children should be held to the same rules and expectations as always. What kids need from their parents is order, especially in the midst of the chaos of a move.

Give extra love and attention

Moving to a new place can be an incredibly tense and stressful time for the entire family and even more so for the kids. Try to make time to give a few extra hugs and kisses. As busy as you may be, make sure to fit in family time whether it is game night or a movie. Something light-hearted and fun can help ease the situation and help everyone relax. It can also help you stay on the same page as your kids. The closer you are to your children, the stronger the family will be to take on this new challenge.

Stay connected to your old life

Communication today allows everyone to stay connected regardless of time differences and distance. Remind your kids that they have Skype, iMessaging, and Facebook — whatever they are allowed to use and is appropriate for their age. My kids video chat with their grandparents every morning after breakfast. They speak to their aunts, uncles, and close friends at least once every week or every other week. I also made an effort to use Snapchat and had my parents download it. It allows me to give them a snippet of what my kids are up to during the day and share any new milestones. It takes a little effort, but it is important to teach our children to stay in touch with their loved ones. Family bonds should always be upheld no matter how far you may be. This also helps teach our kids to value these relationships.

Say goodbye on a positive note

We are leaving Bangkok soon and I had to pull my daughter out of school a little early. I tried to make her last day as special and memorable as possible. We made thank you cards and presents for all her teachers. We had a little goodbye party at school. I observed one of her classes and read them a story. All these little activities involved her and prepared her to say goodbye. Host a goodbye party for your kids and invite their classmates and friends. Younger kids can make family photo albums or DIY crafts. Together you can make or buy presents to say thank you to their babysitters and teachers. As demanding as moving can be, it is a wonderful opportunity for your children to discover the world, explore different cultures and open their minds and hearts. Hope these tips make it a little easier for all of you!  

About the Author

Saba is mom to a bright 3-year-old girl and a rambunctious 20-month-old boy. As a former teacher, she enjoys teaching her kids through play, activities, and crafts at home. Her husband’s job takes the family to many countries around the world, which opens many opportunities for learning and inspiring. As a Pakistani-American married to a Lebanese-American, Saba is raising their children in a multilingual home. She shares her journey on her blog, Marhaba Mommy (www.marhabamommy.wordpress.com).

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