Small Wins For Big Growth.
By Sheena Low
“The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it's not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset.” This powerful statement from renowned psychologist Carol Dweck underscores a fundamental principle in child development: the journey of learning and growth is as important, if not more so, than the outcome (1). Let's delve into the profound significance of celebrating small wins in early childhood as a vital strategy for cultivating a growth mindset and fostering resilience in young learners.
Cultivating a growth mindset
The way we praise children plays a crucial role in shaping their mindset. Carol Dweck's research highlights the difference between a "fixed mindset," where intelligence and abilities are seen as static, and a "growth mindset," where these qualities are viewed as capable of development through dedication and hard work (1). She recommends praising in the following ways to build a growth mindset.
Praise effort over outcome: When we praise children for their effort and the processes they use, rather than just the final result, we teach them that success comes from hard work and dedication. This encourages them to embrace challenges, persist through difficulties, and see failures as learning opportunities. However, praising innate talent ("You're so smart!") can inadvertently lead to a fixed mindset, where children may avoid challenges for fear of not appearing smart.
Specific and sincere praise: Ensure your praise is genuine and specific, highlighting exactly what the child did well. This helps them understand what behaviors to repeat and reinforces a sense of accomplishment. Avoid generic praise or insincere compliments, which can be dismissed by the child.
Cultivating resilience
Resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to challenges, is a vital skill for children and is a key part of a growth mindset. Celebrating small wins plays a significant role in building this crucial trait. When children experience small successes, it fosters a sense of competence and belief in their ability to overcome difficulties. However, building resilience requires more than just celebrating small victories.
Acknowledge and validate feelings: When a child faces a setback, acknowledge their feelings without immediately trying to fix the problem. You could say, "I see you're feeling frustrated that it didn’t work. It's okay to feel that way."
Focus on the process, not just the outcome: Encourage children to reflect on their effort and the strategies they used, regardless of the final result by saying something like, "Even though it didn't work out this time, you learned a lot about balancing the blocks."
Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities: Help children see mistakes as a natural part of learning and growth with statements like: "Oops! It fell. What can we learn from this to make it stronger next time?" or "Every time we make a mistake, we get a chance to learn something new.”
Encourage problem-solving: Instead of immediately stepping in to help, guide children to find their own solutions, by asking them, "What else could you try?" or "What would happen if you changed this part?"
Celebrate effort and persistence: Praise children for their willingness to keep trying, even when things are difficult. For example, "I'm so proud of you for not giving up, even when it was tough!"
Model resilience: Share your own experiences of facing challenges and how you overcame them. This shows children that setbacks are a normal part of life and that it's possible to bounce back.
Small wins, big fun
Celebrating small wins, tailored to the developmental stage of your child, can be seamlessly integrated into everyday activities. It’s never too young to start. With babies, tummy time is a great opportunity to praise their efforts to lift their heads or roll. Then efforts to form words are always worth celebrating, as are their first tottering brick towers. As children get older it might be praising their efforts to dress themselves or even tie their own shoelaces. Not forgetting those opportunities to praise their amazing puzzling skills and LEGO-building achievements. When you look for chances to celebrate small wins, it turns out that our children are constantly achieving.
Celebrating small wins around Bangkok
Bangkok offers numerous child-friendly venues and activities that naturally lend themselves to celebrating small achievements—places where our children can challenge themselves physically and mentally. A few of our favorites are: the Children’s Discovery Museum at Chatuchak, the Bangkok Art and Culture Centre, Alliance Française Bangkok, Bangkok’s many parks, and the numerous cafes and companies offering children’s activities throughout Bangkok.
The power of humor
Incorporating humor into parenting can be a remarkably effective tool. A touch of lightheartedness can diffuse tense moments, foster cooperation, and make the process of learning and growing more enjoyable. When praising effort, try using silly voices or making funny faces. Playfully exaggerate a small accomplishment like, "You stacked the LEGO so high, they almost touched the ceiling!" Singing a silly song about trying hard or comically pretending to struggle with a task your child has just mastered can also bring smiles and laughter. However, it is crucial to avoid humor that is sarcastic, ridiculing, or could make a child feel like they are the target of the joke. The aim is to create shared moments of joy and connection.
Every little cheer counts
In the whirlwind of raising young children, it's easy to get caught up in pursuing big milestones. However, by consciously shifting our focus to acknowledge and celebrate the small, everyday victories, we unlock a powerful tool for nurturing confident, motivated, and resilient individuals. Every little cheer, every warm embrace, and every encouraging word reinforces the value of effort and the joy of growth. So, dear parents, let us be present, let us notice, and let us celebrate each little step our children take. For in these small wins lie the seeds of a bright and successful future.
References
- Dweck, C.S., Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, New York, 2007.
About the author
Sheena is a mother to three-year-old August, runs Super Fly Honey, a brand that makes technical activewear for pole dancers around the world, and dreams about writing children’s books. After three years with a lot of yoga, deep friendships, purposeful retreats, and IFS therapy, she realizes that becoming a mother is actually a superpower.