Toddlers and their Toys

By Kelly Patten

#NotMyKids

If you’ve dipped your toe into the side of social media that focuses on raising toddlers, I’m sure your algorithm looks something like mine: #Montessori #PositiveParenting #LearningThroughPlay. While there are some truly amazing ideas floating about—freezing toys into ice cubes, anyone?—it can feel overwhelming when you scroll through an endless feed of perfectly organized playrooms and kids who just want to fold pretend laundry and wash pretend dishes. Not my kids. Instagram can dredge up deep-seated feelings about parenthood. Am I failing my kids? Will they fall behind? A healthy reminder is that we all want what's best for our kids. It may look different from family to family, but that’s what makes us the best parents for our own children! 

Open-ended toys

Before you develop an inferiority complex about toys and play, let’s explore some options that are available. Social media does a great job convincing parents that open-ended toys are essential—and they are! An open-ended toy has multiple functions and there is no end goal. Favorite examples include blocks, dolls, toy cars, animal figures, and playdough among many others. These toys are often beloved because there is no “right way” to play with them, and they are designed to inspire creativity and imaginative play. My daughters love our play scarves—some days they are lily pads and we are frogs, other days the floor is lava and only the scarves are safe. My one-year-old loves them for peekaboo and her latest game is making everyone wear one as a hat. We’ve used them as blankets when we play Christmas Eve, and they always seem to find a way to work themselves into restaurant play. Open-ended toys encourage language and communication skills as the “rules” are invented as the game is played. Critical thinking skills are used as children analyze and evaluate the toys and how they will be incorporated into play. 

Close-ended toys

While open-ended toys encourage imagination and creativity, close-ended toys are designed for a specific purpose and often require children to follow a set of instructions or rules. Examples include puzzles, board games, sorting and stacking toys, lacing cards, and books. These types of toys are designed for children to practice specific skill sets, such as fine motor skills or reading. Close-ended toys also help children to develop greater focus and attention to details. Sitting down to complete a puzzle with your child is the perfect way to bond over a mindful task that encourages a strong sense of perseverance. My three-and-a-half-year-old recently started playing Candyland—the Disney Princess version, of course. Board games are excellent toys to encourage turn-taking, following a set of rules, basic counting, and understanding the concept of winning a game. While turn-taking is still a work in progress, my daughter loves the concept of following the path and making sure everyone is abiding by the sometimes flexible rules. 

In the age of social media, it is no surprise if we second guess our choices surrounding parenting, and specifically toys and play. Cognitive overload is real, and making decisions about toys can feel complicated when presented with complex and sometimes contradictory information. As with all things, consider your individual child and their unique interests, and then seek to find a balance. A healthy mix of open-ended and close-ended toys will allow your child to develop both imagination and a sense of accomplishment. 

About the Author

Kelly is mom to Freya and Daisy and recently went back to work as an early years teacher. She previously worked as a primary educator and literacy specialist. Kelly loves reading fiction books, listening to true crime podcasts, and watching Disney princess movies.